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Hey folks. If you thought the Rude Guy Blog was just some cheeky irreverent corner of the internet where rude Postman Pat parodies live and breathe, you’re correct. Because guess what? His latest updates are here, and they’re juicier than the gossip around the House of Commons bars after a night out with Murky Mandelson or Randy Andy. I’m talking new content, new ways to support the puerile nonsense, and a whole lot of bollocks to keep you entertained. So, grab your beverage maybe a biscuit or two, and let’s dive headfirst into the glorious, childish, drivel that is the Rude Guy universe. What’s New in the World of Rude Guy Updates? First off, let’s get the obvious out of the way. The blog’s been missing. Instead I tried to keep the home page current with updates as, like me when visiting a site, we very rarely stray from what we came for. New videos, old videos, and some behind-the-scenes shenanigans that’ll make you wonder how I even manage to survive on youtube as long as I did (spoiler: I don’t know either). The latest batch of content should be all about pushing boundaries, making you laugh when you least expect it, and maybe, just maybe, offending your partner a little. I know mine shakes her head sometimes at what I find funny. For instance, when the annoying bloke on Deal or no Deal, who loves everyone on the episode and keeps hugging them, and crying about how the money will change his life, and his nan needs an operation, and he wants to take his partner on holiday, etc ... well at the very end when he opens the 50k box and not the 50p and looses everything bloody brilliant! I laugh so hard. Here’s a quick rundown of what’s coming up: New Postman Pat Parody : If you thought Pat was done, think again. Youtube may not want him but his story must go on. "The Postman Always Dies Twice" must be solved. This one’s got more rude twists than watching Steven Hawkins playing naked twister at Epstein's. Community Q&A : I finally answered some of your burning questions. Yes, even the weird ones. I do reply to every message I get so keep them coming. To Ai or not to Ai that is the question : there's no denying it it's here to stay and will no doubt kill us all but, in the meantime we can enjoy it a little. I don't intent to keep making content like "Noncense" but if I can make Pat occasional pick up an item or make a gesture he didn't do in the original then it might well embellish the process rather than distract. I promise he will never get his knob out. (well, not in public) And if you want to keep up with all this drivel without missing a single fart gag, check out the rude guy blog updates for the full story. Behind the scenes of Rude Guy's temporary recording setup. Compact and Bijou How to Support the Rude Guy Madness Without Selling Your Soul Look, I get it. You love the content but you’re not made of money. But if you want to keep this rude universe spinning, there are a few ways you can help without selling your kidney on the dark web. Subscribe and Share : Sounds simple, right? But it’s the lifeblood of any content creator. Hit that subscribe button on youtube, share the website, share the videos with your family and friends, and spread the rude universe. Membership : For those who want to go full penetration, 25p a week helps keep the library going. Wix is not cheep sadly, their email use, web hosting and business plans all cost money and Ai, oh my lord! crazy prices just to prompt for 5 seconds clips only to discard 10 of them for being unusable. So for those of you who are supporting me financial with £1 a month, thank you. The yearly option is a far better way to show that support as Paypal takes a minimum of 30p from each transaction. So a third of that £1 a month goes to them! Buy Some Crap : Yep, the merch is there on Redbubble. From mugs to T-Shirts, it’s your chance to wear your rude heart on your sleeve (literally). Engage in Comments : Leave a cheeky comment, start a debate, or just tell me how much you hate my jokes. It all counts. I read and reply to every comment always have tried to and always will. In the words of Brian Adams "It was the summer of 69" oh shit wrong song. Remember, every kind of support keep the rude guy content going and I am forever grateful. The Latest Video That’s Not Got Everyone Talking If you haven’t seen the newest Andrew and Bond parody "Noncense", what rock have you been living under? This one’s a masterpiece of rude Ai comedy, well maybe not. Perhaps four days work and around £70 of Ai renders and we see Andy get his comeuppance . I'm not saying this is the future of my Rude Guy creations after all, I know my niche, but in a world where anyone can make anyone say or do anything now I have to stay up with technology and embrace where it might help speed up the process of creation or at times, improve it. Mrs Miggins pulling out a large aubergine from behind the post office counter and smiling might be a real asset as well as a tight squeeze. "Noncense" (deliberate misspelling, but you knew that) was an experiment but will probably never be seen more than a few hundred times. What makes a parody successful? Content obviously it needs to be engaging, entertaining, not too long, and with plenty of smiles throughout and a punchline naturally but, will it be seen? Promotion If youtube do not suggest the video to people it will get no traction and therefore no views. Sadly, YouTube does not promote my content anymore. I'm already associated with my previous removed channel so this one will not show up in search or be promoted to people's "what to watch" and certainly never monetised. In fact most of the time you can only find me if you directly search for "Rude Guy" You Guys without doubt it is your engagement, your likes, your comments etc that youtube cannot ignore. We've just hit 500 subscribers on the channel but we will probably never get close to the 80,000 we had before. That's ok though. I've said it many times before that I would rather have 1000 people who love what we have here than 80,000 who ticked the subscribe button a few years ago but have never returned or become part of the community. 80k sounds great 800k even better but those youtubers don't know the names of their followers they don't recognise the names coming up in comments time and time again or reply to their emails. "Quality not quantity" I believe they say or "girth over length" as Pat would probably profess. “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.” ― Vincent Van Gogh “ "Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest." ― Pat Clifton Screenshot from the latest Postman Pat Video Why the Rude Universe Is Shrinking Faster Than My Love Sausage Let’s be honest, the internet is a crowded place. But the Rude Guy Universe carved out its own little niche, and it was growing. Why? Because it found a niche, and audience and more importantly the world had turned to shit in many ways. You folks embraced the rude take on nostalgia and we grew over a few years to millions of views. Sadly Dreamworks, who ultimately own the rights to Postman Pat pulled the plug on our little channel with around twenty copyright strikes applied simultaneously. Obviously this was the work of Ai to identify such a wide range of content and recognise infringements that quickly but it's also Ai that ignores your appeals. I think Ive done 7 or 8 by now and I don't even get a reply. Apparently Google, who own Youtube, are using Gemini, their Ai model to monitor uploads and also trawl through old content looking for copyright infringement violation. I therefore had no chance. Although youtube allow "Fair Use" and even a category within that as "Dubbed Video" I was still removed. Perhaps I was bringing their product into disrepute and damaging the brand. Had we really grown that big? Well, I can remember being in a hotel in Las Vegas (back in the days when I had a real job) and turning on the TV and searching for "Adult Comedy" on Youtube and there was our little Postman on the first page! I thought "We've made it" Pride before a fall. What’s Next? So, what’s on the horizon? More rude Postman Pat parodies, obviously. But also some new projects that I can’t spill the beans on just yet. Let’s just say, the rude universe is expanding, and it’s going to get even messier, more inappropriate and certainly more regular. Here’s a sneak peek of what we might expect: Collaborations with other rude content creators? - who knows because rudeness loves company. Live streams? where you can watch me make a fool of myself in real-time. More interactive content? to get you involved like never before perhaps your voices, your names or even your faces. Special events and giveaways? - because who doesn’t love free stuff? Keep your eyes peeled and your immature sense of humour ready. The best is yet to come. There you have it, the latest from the Rude Guy Blog. If you’re not already part of this glorious infantile universe, what are you waiting for? Dive into the rude guy blog updates and join the fun. And remember, life’s too short for boring, woke content - so let’s keep it immature, ridiculous, and downright rude. Take care. RG

Gat

I've never really understood the point of a blog unless you've got something interesting to say like.... If we can no longer say Master Bedroom due to it's historical slavery roots can we also no longer say Mother Nature? Is that too gender specific? Ships shouldn't be called she, as in "she's a fine ship" but Gillette is still "the best a man can get". Are we saying trans people don't shave? I'm sure they do Gillette, you sexist wankers! It's a confusing world, as is the world of blogging. A forum or a blog? both perhaps. The ramblings of a 60-year-old, caucasian, heterosexual, British man trying to come to terms with a world where wokeness not happiness prevails, where we are so afraid to say the wrong thing, we tend to say nothing. Where we have created such a culture of equality and fear of being politically incorrect our community is growing further apart. My mom often says "Oh it's not England anymore" and I point out “Define England Mom... and put your tits away I've told you before I'm not interested" We are a nation that has experienced centuries of invaders including Romans, Vikings, Saxons, and Dutch, anyone remember William the Conquerer? I don't think my mom is hankering back to the times of the Icine and Bodecia but she forgets we are a melting pot of cultures just like the Americas. Our patron saint, St George, never visited England he was born in Turkey and we share him with Venice, Genoa, Portugal, Ethiopia and Catalonia. Richard the Lionheart spent a total of six months in England, which is still more time than Rod Stewart for tax reasons. And did you know Mom (she's nodded off by now) that b efore George V picked the name Windsor, the royals were going to still be called the “House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha.” He switched it up due to anti-German sentiment following World War 1 I think the Buddhists have it nailed.... “The world is imperfect and will remain that way”. How we deal with the chaos, the injustice, the tragedy that can sometimes befall us is what defines us, especially to others. I guess if we try and treat others in a way we wish to be treated ourselves, if we show compassion whenever we can and especially tolerance then the world would be a wonderful place, Sadly, that's not what will happen but instead, ai will figure out that when asked to save the planet, solve world hunger, end poverty and wars it decides.... to remove the problem... us! I did have a life before Rude Guy and back in the day, I would often find myself on stage saying "Good evening ladies and gentlemen". That was quickly switched to "Welcome one and all". Mixed race has been replaced with mixed heritage according to my former HR director and eventually, I'm sure Santas “Hello boys and girls" will be replaced with “Right then you little bastards" You see, is this really worth listening too? me blogging away about the things I notice in life that amuse and bemuse me. Why do pensioners drive at 40mph on a 60mph road and then carry on doing 40mph when they enter a fuckin 30mph street! Why is it my stepdaughter can't put the new toilet roll on the holder but leaves the empty cardboard tube there as if she believes someone else will use it to wipe their arse. How is it that it's now the middle of July and it's still fuckin raining! Breath.... So, I'm not sure if a blog is therapeutic, cathartic or rheumatic but I know it ends with an ic. Let's see what happens I will blog and if nobody reads it I will 1. not be surprised 2. not get upset about it 4. wonder what happened to 3 and 3. Where have you been?